Friday, 8 March 2019

0bserver

I hope you will all forgive me this post. I'm about to make an analogy, I'm aware that for some reading you make think "that's not right". However having had this image growing not just in my head but in my stomach for the last 24 hours I hope writting it out will bring peace comfort and encouragement.


I spent time with a lovely friend yesterday. They therapeutically parent and have done for many years. I love the family with all my heart, each one of them are incredibly beautiful. As I say though therapeutic parenting is a requirement, they face so many challenges.

I wanted to write as an observer. Someone witnessing the daily bravery and determination they have to not give up. The image that keeps haunting my stomach is of the First World War trenches.

I remeber learning of how the generals made the soldiers go ‘over the top’ of the trenches and walk into the fire of the enemies machine guns. 
They were not allowed to run. The mud their friends falling at thier sides, I imagine the fear must had been beyond fear.
 Disempowered, broken, accepting the inevitable slaughter. I also think that the ability to reason anything out would also feel pointless luxury.
Feeling your life ment nothing to anyone. That you just had to walk forwards relentlessly facing relentlessness.

With high insight we see how awful this situation was how unfair , how down right to beyond our imagination it was to even consider experiencing.

That’s  how I feel for this family, from the children who through no fault of their own are dealing with things they should never have had to. They hold guns loaded with mental ill health.
Then there’s  the parents who equally have to every day  selflessly leave their trench of battered safety to ‘go over the top’ and walk into the machine guns to not knowing if they will be slaughtered that day or reach the other side. Hoping their efforts will bring peace to the great vastness of the war they find themselves in.

It’s Rbbery it's all wrong, it's horrid, unpalatable!, UNFAIR!!!!!! It's awful no one in this senecio is to blame . Everyone is trying thier best!!!!!!!! As an observer it hurts!!!!! 
We have the luxury of only having to dip in and out of the war as we lead very different lives. 
My family reaches milestones I could only have dreamed of and I want to hide them, not talk about them, I want to give them to this brave brave family so they can experiance them but I can't. 

I hope you understand this is not a partroniseing judgemental situation. This is a sadness of love, if sadness of love can be a thing. 
I hope as we bumble on in this life you know I and mine stand next to you and yours in love. 
That me and mine are so protective of you all even if we have no idea how to express it.
 That we see the walking, the machine guns, the size of the unrenting war. We hurt deeply that we can't rescue you all and take you somewhere safe. 

We don’t want you to have hide anything from us or be silent. As the war against  the robbery goes on year after year, I imagine it becomes so "normal" or mind boggling that to speak of the struggles over and over again just adds to the sense of relentless unrest.

Our silence like yours sometimes is only because we see the depths of the situations exhausting you. So I write this blog for you because I want you and your brave brave family to know to the best that we are able we see you. We love you.
 I ask for times of peace,
I ask for times of joy,
I ask for times of breakout, breakthrough.
I ask that nourishment floods you and re energises you all every morning every nighttime.
I ask for peace.
I ask for an armistice day.
 May angels surround and hold each of you, and may you never feel alone, you  are a very brave brave beautiful family.

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