Being able to look holistically at things is something that has not always been available to me. The world has never been a simple place. It has always been, for the best part, a confusing, moving, heaving mass of intertwined meanings, subtexts and fascias.
I found people, places, routines, and non-routines hard. It was all hard and, in short, seemed very little that I understood until 1999.
It was in this year that a thought struck me and that was to take my love of trucks and large engines on a gear (excuse the pun). (I respect the humble car and its fine twiddly bits but there not a patch on a good old Perkins). I then enrolled on a two year mechanics 'Remove Replace NVQ', I got more than I bargained for.
We first had to learn each system; what and why it was there? Water system, oil system, suspension, brakes, fuel; the list is quite large so I'll stop. Then we had to learn how all these things helped and interacted with each other. Making the vehicle work smoothly and efficiently.
We then learned how all these systems then had to respond and alter when encountering external changes. Reacting smoothly to influences such as speed, load and temperature.
The penny dropped and my eyes were open! Sparks flew, even as I write this, and I feel an excited churning in my belly!
One of my best friends had finally entered my world 'LOGIC'!
Gradually, over the two years, me and logic grew a deep relationship. I realised life is like an engine and relationships are like the systems on cars. Conversations are like the external pressures requiring flexibility and reaction.
It was the first time I had an ability to get out of the reactionary (the world is unpredictable and dangerous) a mode that I had always lived in. Things, stuff and people in my mind clearly became the same as those complicated vehicle drawings and I could now navigate and understand.
I saw life in levels, sub levels, dancing and interacting. I saw and still see people and environments in this same way. From physical self, emotions, speech, work and to rest. Each have layers and systems. You learn what must be in place to make them / it work.
The dinner must be made in time so all the component parts are cooked. Each according to there oil based, protein carbohydrate based, water content, identities. It can then all be presented at the same point, thus creating a multi-taste experience at the table. With the correct cutlery and drinks receptacle in the right quantities, which then correspond to the ages and diets of those eating.
The lounge can be broken down into sofa, floor, bin, mantle piece, smell, dust layer, dog bed, computer / tv, and all of these must be at optimum function. Resulting in the ability to relax for the evening.
People talk to you and they will have an overall character. You will interact with it in a certain way (like/dislike), they will have super purposes for the direction of their lives which will then be broken down into pathways (walked or raced). each pathway full of sub purposes, actions and events.
If I as the other conversant can grasp what the current purpose ( ie: to relax, to plan and to discover) is then I can interact or retract according to the most product perceived outcome.
Often I have learned that what is most enjoyable is not to have an ending. Having opened up a set of thoughts with another - leave it open. Don't look for closure on the the discussion, this then allows for further contemplation and creativity can kick in. Usually you find a whole new way of concluding, which would have been lost if at the point of parting either one of the conservationists had panicked, and tried to stunt the process into a box.
Sometimes if things are clear enough and I have an umbrella view, there seems to be the ability to see the colours of the situations. Blue for water, red for brakes and yellow for auxiliaries. That person is green, the room is blue and you are messy. You don't know your brown and lumpy; let's discover your true life giving colours. Let's add a good dashing of logical hope. That ones red, this ones multi coloured with extra glitter.
Yes it's a colourful world!!! The gift of logic was such a blessing! The gift of understanding how to build something complicated by breaking it down into systems, parts and types of materials. Understanding that in the end it must all work together seamlessly and produce a maintained well oiled smooth engine which is fit for purpose. It all still stuns me!
Whilst I see this is a continued learning experience and journey; I am eternally grateful to my tutors, Rodger and Dennis. The hours they practically gave, starting with parts and spanners instead of pen and paper! This blog I dedicate to honour them. Thank you.