Tuesday, 28 January 2014

More movement please!!!

I get stuck in positions that are physically uncomfortable but it takes me ages to realise I am physically frozen and then move.

For example:

Like being sat in a chair with an outside door open making me cold.  I want to move and shut the door (adding to the situation that I'm hungry and thirsty). The thought of getting a cup to my mouth off a table that's so easily in reach - I stare at the cup willing it to fly to me but know you need to bend, move your arm, and pick it up. 

Uncrossing my legs, because my leg is going numb or my ankle is bent and uncomfortable way, I lean over the sink and drain vegetables whilst my feet are still planted by the cooker.  I remind myself, as I realise my back is twisted and mildly hurting, thinking "move your feet, make yourself straight in front of the sink, pivots and loads! pivots and loads! & remember pivots and loads!" 

When frozen I usually end up staring at the floor or something low to the ground usually  on the left hand side of myself. It's so odd always to that one side?

Unable to  physically move; fighting in myself  to make my body gain energy, I shout and argue with my head working through the muddle of thought, "Move!! move!! move!!!!!!!!! ---- You know what you need to do but your stuck!!!!! ------  Why is it so hard to move? ' --- and then it turns sternly to shouting internally -------' "solve your problem! ".

What I have to do after the fight and the realisation is ---------  R E L A X  and try to forget and then I move, almost as though unless I forget, and the movement cannot happen.

Its so weird and at times sooooo boring but when I do manage to relax and be calm, I just make the movement required. It shocks me that it just happens, after willing it to for sometimes such a long time.

I say to myself, when frozen, "soon this will be over and you will just do what you need to do" or "just trust it will happen" - "don't try and make it happen" - "it will when its ready!"

Before you know it , I've moved without warning but in the way I want? Relief floods me and I smile (it's done). I'm often taken by surprise how fluid and easy the physical act has been.

I wonder at...

  • Why has it been at a time I have not decided?
  • Why can't I move when I want to like other people?
  • I'm sure they don't even think but just do things, catch balls, & play football.  

I've tried tennis recently but for me I am not fluid and we all ended up laughing at how stiff I became. Zippy often laughs as he knows, as do the kids, that you don't ever throw anything to mum!

The length of time in frozeness is also annoying as it can take a minute or an hour sometimes and you can't work out why??  Why did that one take  a long / short time to change????

But it always happens in the end:-).

The unknowings of it all - another battle that seems sooo silly!! What is almost just as annoying is during these frozen periods that speaking or asking for help is impossible but if someone was to notice then they can just ask me to move, then I will. 

Once I was at a friends house, I got overwhelmed and ended up with my head stuck under a pillow in the left hand side of their sofa. These friends knew me but not enough.

Zippy had gone outside to look at something and I had my head in the sofa for almost twenty minutes. When Zippy got back he tapped me on the arm and said ' Do u want to get up?' -'get up!'-- I shot up like a spring in relief and, like I said, these mates are lovely mates and so we carried on with our evening with no embarrassment to me and went for a curry :-):-):-)

Thank goodness I belong to the age of 2014...... Thank goodness for MRI scanning and Neuroscience......!!!!!  And thank goodness for great mates!!! 

Answers to all the above please and put in an envelope containing a SAE addressed postcard and send to me.......:-):-):-)